On August 7th my husband, Tony, had to call 911 because I tried to take a bottle of pills. I only got them into my hand then he stopped me. I was hospitalized in a psychiatric hospital for a week. I was stressed because of a setback with dizziness that started a week before. I felt drunk and slept most of Wednesday and half of Thursday. I was trying to babysit my daughter’s 2 puppies (and 1 got out of the yard and got lost), babysat my grandson, Joshua, Tuesday even though I was still dizzy, worrying about my son because his financing didn’t come through after buying a T-Mobile store and worried about my 20 year old grandson who was in a severe car accident and was in really bad shape.
I was really in bad shape and believe it is because of my sensitivity. I knew it was wrong but while it was happening I couldn’t control myself. It was from a fight with Tony and he ended up holding me down for almost an hour to keep me from reaching for pills again. Tony said…I am done, it’s over, I’m finished; so I reacted with panic that I would have no form of support going forward. The police arrived and calmed me down. They had to handcuff me in the car for my own protection. I am fine and actually enjoyed being in the hospital. I got a little vacation away from real life. I was chosen to be interviewed by a psychiatrist staff in front of 20 students because of my complex nature of health symptoms. It took them a week to realize I am a package deal, not only the mental because it and the physical work off each other. They found me a new primary care doctor that will coordinate with all my specialists and new psychiatrist. The goal is to find meds that have dual purposes so I don’t have to take 22 different meds for so many things.
The best thing about this is that I prayed the Monday before this happened for help to get off lots of my meds and to get my healing moving faster. So my prayer was answered and now I have to follow through.
I will not be on line too much so I can continue to concentrate on my relaxation through jigsaw puzzles and scrapbooking. My angel community did a tarot card reading for me and when I heard it, I realized that I was lonely.
I am re-writing this today, December 26, 2014 to update some information. I am still being seen by psychiatric professionals and will probably have to most of my life. I learned too many times that even with the help of the doctors, I cannot go off my antidepressants because I have these mental illnesses through genetics. I keep fluctuating with my feelings and have become a recluse. I pray with the help of God and my angels that I can become stronger and go back to my spiritual studies and advance my intuitive abilities.
I pray that anyone else that suffers as I do that you never get to the point of no return like I did and you get the medical help you need to live a comfortable and happy life.
Love and blessings to all. Cathy
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